You can keep your California You can keep your sun kissed skin She's a pale pool in the moonlight and I feel myself sinking in A smile she wears often with her red hair up or down you might see her early morning feeding her chickens in her short dressing gown You're a man of distinction, yes, and you have stepped around this world. You haven't been anywhere till you've been in love with an East Yorkshire girl She's got a swing in her hips when she walks or when she runs softly spoken you won't hear her swear but she says fuck when she comes roughed up by her ex-boyfriends in the toilets of the local pub and he tells you that there's whiskey when she's finally had enough You're a man of distinction, yes, and you have stepped around this world. You haven't been anywhere till you've been in love with an East Yorkshire girl She doesn't need no help with her DIY She loves the bargain shop You can take her to the theatre or for a snog at the bus stop She's been a heart breaker but she's got a tender part you might see her wearing wellington boots walking a chocolate Labrador across the park You're a man of distinction, yes, and you have stepped around this world. You haven't been anywhere till you've been in love with an East Yorkshire girl Her slender arms around your neck and her green eyes wide Her breath hot on your face you ain't getting out of here alive You're a man of distinction, yes, and you have stepped around this world. You haven't been anywhere till you've been in love with an East Yorkshire girl

I've got two girls and I can't choose One of them is pretty, the other one is true Two roads to follow, two paths to find girls are like buses, they come along at the same time My mother says it's wrong the boys pretend it's cool my father looked at me like that's what he would do I think about one in the morning, the other one at night, need at make a decision and choose the one that is right One of them kisses well, the other one is smart One looks after my stomach, the other one my heart She's unpredictable, you don't know what to expect The other one sends me semi colons in every other text My mother says it's wrong my brother thinks it's cool my granddad says love, well it never runs true I think about one in the morning, the other one at night, need at make a decision and choose the one that is right I've got two girls that I can't face I arrange to meet them both at the same time and place underneath the clock tower in the centre of town two girls are waiting for me and I'm not around Myself I know it's wrong the boys pretend it's cool my grandma says that's what she would do throw my phone into the river slip on some shady tunes I'm heading to the bar to drink away these blues... and I won't choose I had two girls and I could not choose one of them was pretty, the other one was too

Took her out just to see If I liked her and if she liked me She was fine, she was toned Curves in the right places, loved running races I said I was fast, said I was strong She told me she was a runner and I should tag along She was fit, she was fast And I’m not sure if I can handle coming in last So next day I turned up, Sky a grey ooze, I was wearing my polish running shoes Trackers on Not running yet, my heart’s a pounding hard, my back’s a full of sweat She kissed… me soft Just do the best you can, meaning I’m going to win and you know I am Running down… that track Feel my chest heave, watch her arse in front of me. Feeling rough, can’t keep this up She shoots me a smile, we haven’t even done half a mile. 2k in and it’s getting tough I know I’m gonna lose, curse those polish running shoes She’s so fit, I might just drop Gotta hold it together, I just can’t stop Up the hill, see the end Gotta see this through, feel like I’m about to spew When it’s done, I feel sore She puts her arms round me says lets run some more.

As I was walking one fair summer morning, To hear the birds sing and the nightingales play, It was there that I met a slightly plump lassie, As I was a walking along the highway. Oh where are you going my fair pretty lady, Where are you going so early this morn, She answered, kind sir to visit my neighbours, I'm going down to Lincoln the place I was born. We hadn't been walking a few miles together, Before this young damsel began to show free, She sat herself down saying sit down beside me, The game we shall play will be one, two and three. I pulled off me boots and I yanked down me britches and out popped my old fella so handsome and fine I said are you shocked, she said yes I am lad Yours is quite big but not as big as mine. She started to fumble and started to rustle and I felt me colour a turning all green From under her dress she pulled out a chopper the biggest fat penis that I’d ever seen. Then I was running fast through the forest me young legs a pounding to get me ahead following behind the lassie I’d been with swinging her chopper between her fat legs There’s a rule to this story, that’s not hard for looking If you’re a young fella you must be alert You cannot assume a lass is a lassie Until you get under the cloth of her skirt

I didn’t drink much or stay out late at night tried to pay the bills on time and bring the kids up right Looking back I I wish I’d been, bad a little more But thank God she left them kids when she walked out the door I’m a single father, times are hard checking out the single moms in the school yard the teacher, she talks to me so fine the boys drop by and say 'how you getting?' and I tell em We're doing fine. The house is clean enough, well clean enough for us the homework's done the clothes are clean with no fighting and no fuss and you can have a sugar free cola anytime you like you can wake me up in the morning or anytime at night I’m a single father, you've got odd sock but you've got a lot of gamer points on your xbox peace and tranquility is what we find the boys drop by and say 'how you getting?' and I tell em We're doing fine.

They brought him out and laid him bare I look at the exit and wished that I wasn't there The snow turned to rain and the the mourners moved left me standing there looking at my well polished shoes He was stone he did not move and he helped me anytime that I needed him to He was cold mountain strong and I feel him standing next to me though his shadow is long gone he was my home made of stone In the bar the old men did tell of the things he loved and the places he knew so well i stood there and drank a few told those stories like he used to He was stone he did not break though the wind and the rain were sometime too much for him to take He was broad His anger slow and it was him that I would turn to when this world laid me low He was my home made of stone and back home in their bed my two kids tucked up tight their two eyes twinkling like the stars so bright i will be stone and I will try to stand beside you if those dark days come by I cannot promise to pass this test but I will bloody by knuckles and I will make it my best to be your home made of stone.

A cold November morning we meet up late at the cafe on the corner you always said you hate You're looking a little weary your eyes a little worn and you've got your collars up to keep your ears warm you know the, best thing you ever did was get rid of me I see you up in town you've got places to be got a smile on your face you've got people to see so the best thing you did was that day when you got rid of me I pull the chair out but you don't look up staring down at the spoon in your coffee cup you aint saying much all I get's a smile what's going on inside that pretty little mind you know the, best thing you ever did was get rid of me I see you up in town you've got places to be got a smile on your face you've got people to see so the best thing you did was that day when you got rid of me and you don't have to sing along and you won't find yourself here in another one of these here love songs Now you open up you say you're off track you put your little hand on mine and say I want you back you know the, best thing you ever did was get rid of me You might see me up town I've got places to be I've got a smile on my face I've got people to see so the best thing you did was that day when you got rid of me

She’s lightly tanned, the smile is sweet the skirts aren’t long or short but there’s always something to see walks her dog, up and down our streets she’s shines that smile on anyone that she meets born and raised, in these streets and fields those feet are happy in either wellys or high heels She wear her bike helmet, tilted back She might do a turn or two but you won't find out about that She’s the queen of this town if you don’t know her yet you have definitely seen her around on her horse, past the bus stop down the old pub or in the aisle of the corner shop queen of this town men who loved her, or once held her hand curse the day they broke up wishing they were still her man the things they might do if they were together the kind of man they would be if they were with her She’s the queen of this town and if you order pizza, you don’t have to wait around first class service in every place and everybody wants to see that smile across her face Queen of this town so what is she doing, letting me hang around? She’s the queen of this town used to be a princess but she’s getting on a bit now She’s the queen of this town Shakes her body on the dance floor if she has to get down She’s the queen of this town Looks pretty good in lycra when she’s jogging up and down She’s the queen of this town so what is she doing, letting me hand around?

Dressed in my finest, the best man at the wedding reception I was drinking and watch the reflection of the sunshine as it picked out all the blonde bits in your hair Well you were pretty in a sea of ugly faces you smiled sweetly and laughed in the right places I felt my heart drop when I saw him appear at your side.

Single girl, out on the run waiting for the perfect man to come along Many suitors line up at her door too old , too fat , too rich, too nice, too poor Starting to worry but she will not say maybe she’s already met the one and he somehow wriggled away He takes her out for expensive meals, she wears high heels she’s the real deal no matter how she feels A one night stand for this deal to seal and warts and all flabby stomachs are revealed The next day she calls him up she’s got cold feet She’s says they’ll be friends but that’s all she’ll be as those butterflies in her stomach she doesn’t feel then it’s back to the drawing board to play the field Single man, getting on looking for any sort of woman to come along On those dating sites that he’s scrolling through she’s fat, she’s mean, she’s old, yes she’ll do Starting to worry, but he’ll still try What is the flow of ladies has finally run dry he takes her out for an expensive meal she looks the real deal, he likes her high heels. Flash the cash and she’s quite easy to please he takes he home, gets her between those sheets The next day she calls him up, love she does not feel A fact he does not conceal and not that the truth has been revealed it's back to that dating website to see what he can see

It happened so fast he could hardly say she packed her bags and she was gone the same day She left a fifty pound heating bill and her Gary Barlow coffee cup on kitchen on the window sill so he can drink himself sober wash it all away drink himself sober there are no more games left to play It took a while for him to work out what to do he had to face the truth although he really didn’t want to another man inside his home and all he's got is these pictures of his kids on his mobile phone So he can drink himself sober wash it all away drink himself sober there no more games left to play And I know that worse things have happened war, famine and poverty but the sound of my heart breaking feels real enough to me drink myself sober wash it all away drink myself sober there's nothing left nothing to say... drink myself sober put that drink home drink myself sober step out on that road alone